Mainland Goodness

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Living overseas can be really cool. I see all kinds of new and different things, and that’s always neat. How many people get to go to a Buddha’s Birthday parade in Seoul or swim with a sea turtle? I know that I am lucky.

On the other hand, there are a lot of things that you just can’t get in other places in the world.

Fun Fact: Did you know that cocktails were invented in the United States? Some claim it was in New Orleans, and some claim that it was in New York, but no one disputes that they are a uniquely American invention.

This means that it is also pretty uniquely American to find a wide variety of alcohol and things to mix with it. (For non-US friends, I am talking about things you mix with alcohol like bitters, grenadine, and vermouth.) So, it is cool to see things like that on the shelves.

Then there are produce options!

In South Korea there is a poisonous berry that grows wild. It looks a lot like a raspberry. As a result, they do not think raspberries are food and do not import or grow them. This is a shame, as they are my very favorite fruit.

In Guam we mostly don’t have fresh fruits and vegetables. Everything has to go through customs in Hawaii (as per US law,) so by the time it gets here it is rotten. And unlike Hawaii, we are not a volcanic island where it is easy to grow things. We are a coral island, which means that the soil is harsh and infertile.

So it’s apples and oranges, and broccoli. That’s what can make it here, so that is what we eat.

don julio on sale

I also miss things that are hard to explain. For example, we have Chinese food in Guam. However, we are very close to China and so we have Chinese Chinese food here. As it turns out, I don’t really like Chinese Chinese food. I like American Chinese food.

Fun Fact: Fortune cookies are American.

Another thing I really miss is good tortilla soup and carnitas. The people of Guam have some Spanish influence in their culture, but it’s not the same.

I went all through High School and College in Arizona, and every now and then I am just dying to have some really good Mexican Food.

Thankfully, I can get good Korean and Thai food on Guam, so at least there is that.

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I guess the hardest part for me living overseas is shoes. Even in the US, I have absolutely broken down crying while looking for shoes.

See, I wear a size 12 or 13 in women’s. Yes, that’s right, a size 12 or 13.

Don’t bother leaving all the jokes in the comments. I have heard every single one. Yes, if I am in a hurricane I won’t blow over. I don’t need skis to go skiing. I am probably related to big foot. Ha. Ha. Ha.

All I really want to cute shoes like girls wear on TV. I want sexy pumps and cute boots and adorable sandals.

However, no one makes cute shoes things in my size.

In Asia I can’t even buy plain or ugly shoes. There just aren’t any. I tried ordering online, but so many places have sizes that “run small” and they don’t tell you. I ordered a pair from Chinese Laundry because I was so excited to see a size 12 on their site. I don’t know whose idea of a size 12 it was, but I could have cut off all my toes and still not fit my foot into it. So, I have to buy shoes in person.

I was excited to do this while stateside.

I went all the places that folks had suggested to me, like Nordstrom’s Rack and DSW. And I have to tell you: I have nothing nice to say about those places or the people who work there. Same for Target, Walmart, Journeys, and every other shoe store besides Payless.

Not only is Payless literally the only store in the United States that still carries shoes in my size, but the lady there was nice. I have no idea why shoe salesmen in other stores have to be nasty, act shocked, or ask if I am transsexual (I am not.) However, there are some mean and rotten shoe salespeople, and I think I talked to all of them.

Anyway, I think a lot of times people look at my blog and they think that it’s really glamorous living overseas. And yeah, it has its moments. But I do live a life without raspberries and shoes, so maybe keep that in mind before you think my life is “perfect.”

Shoes that do not come in my size, sold by a very nasty person who thinks women with size 12 feet are subhuman. Thanks DSW.

Fetish Prom

Rob and myself at the Prom
Rob and myself at the Prom

 

 

 

If you’re ready for Halloween and all the creepy stuff Arizona has to offer, you have to check out the Arizona Fetish Prom at The Venue of Scottsdale on October 11th. What is a fetish prom? Well, for starters, it’s retailers of things you’ll have a hard time finding anywhere else. Sure, you could try to buy a corset online, but then how would you try it on? The Fetish Prom is the answer. Often, there are people selling jewelry all decked out with spiders and snakes, corsets and velvet capes, as well as swords, and whips and chains.

 

Everyone is friendly, and no one pressures you. If you’re just there shopping for a corset and you don’t want to get near the bondage gear, that’s okay. But then again, if you’ve ever been curious, it can’t hurt to look.

 

I went to the last prom because Horns and Halos, who put the proms on, brought a band I love called VNV Nation. I have always wanted to see them, but they never play Phoenix. This trip to the United States they did play Phoenix, but only at the prom. So, I went to the prom and had a great time. The local band that opened, called Hardwire, was great.

 

Every prom has different entertainment. This event features a local band called Mankind is Obsolete, among other attraction such as the shopping.