What I Am Reading

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I always heard that it is important for a writer to read a lot. I think that’s true, although there is only so much time in a day, and I do love outdoor activities.

Currently, I am reading a book called Gulp, by one of my very favorite authors, Mary Roach. She has written some amazing books, my favorite of which is Bonk (because I actually giggled out loud a bunch while reading it.) But I have loved everything she has ever written, and been following her since she had a column in Reader’s Digest called Pardon My Planet.

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I also recently re-read the Harry Potter Series for the 20th Anniversary. They were good books to bring on our recent vacation because they are engaging enough to read on a plane with screaming kids.

Some books are good, but maybe not the kind of books that you can read in a train station in Calcutta or a subway in Seoul.

My battered paperbacks of Harry Potter have served me well through all the chaos of travel, and have managed to grab my attention no matter how loud my surroundings. If you need to ignore someone else’s screaming kids, Harry Potter will never fail you.

Plus, the TSA in the US is always scary and often they are not very nice. But, I got one of them to laugh out loud when he asked: “Do you have an e-reader, tablet, laptop, or other device in your backpack?” And I replied, “No, Sir. I have a book.”

The line got quite and everyone stared at me like I had horns and a tail. It was awesome. I pulled out my copy of The Half Blood Prince and flashed it around, and I got a lot of laughs.

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Another series I was recently reading was the Sookie Stackhouse books. If you have seen the HBO series called True Blood then I am sorry, because it was pretty awful. But the books are awesome and I had read them ages ago as they came out. I recently found out that the series was finally complete, and so I bought the last two and re-read the whole thing. It was a lot of fun, and each book only takes a day or two at most. Wait in a few lines at the post office or the bank, let a few meals simmer and stir occasionally while reading, and you’re done before you know it.

My students in Korea used to be aghast that I would walk while reading. They thought it was perfectly scandalous. But like any avid reader, I have read while doing pretty much everything, even showering (holding the book out of the spray, of course.)

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Something else I took a second look at recently was the Anne of Green Gables books. I hadn’t read them since 8th grade, and I forgot how… let’s say “dated” they are. But, I loved them dearly.

I actually cried reading them because it was so intense to read something that I had been reading back when I was an awkward pre-teen in a loveless home full of abuse. During some parts, I remembered my biological mother screaming at me so clearly that it was almost like she was in the room. It was always in such stark contrast to the books, where Marilla and Matthew love Anne and think of her as the light of their life.

Point is: If you never read Anne of Green Gables, they are charming and worth a look.

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I know a lot of people are re-reading American Gods because of the TV show. I thought about it. But American Gods is another one of those really engaging books, and so it used to be my go-to book on long plane rides. I think I can actually quote nearly the whole thing from memory by now, so I decided not to jump on that boat.

I do have the new Mary Roach book, Grunt, on the way. I am looking forward to that. But if you have any other recommendations, please get in touch and let me know. I always need book recommendations. I don’t have enough friends that read!

Mainland Goodness

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Living overseas can be really cool. I see all kinds of new and different things, and that’s always neat. How many people get to go to a Buddha’s Birthday parade in Seoul or swim with a sea turtle? I know that I am lucky.

On the other hand, there are a lot of things that you just can’t get in other places in the world.

Fun Fact: Did you know that cocktails were invented in the United States? Some claim it was in New Orleans, and some claim that it was in New York, but no one disputes that they are a uniquely American invention.

This means that it is also pretty uniquely American to find a wide variety of alcohol and things to mix with it. (For non-US friends, I am talking about things you mix with alcohol like bitters, grenadine, and vermouth.) So, it is cool to see things like that on the shelves.

Then there are produce options!

In South Korea there is a poisonous berry that grows wild. It looks a lot like a raspberry. As a result, they do not think raspberries are food and do not import or grow them. This is a shame, as they are my very favorite fruit.

In Guam we mostly don’t have fresh fruits and vegetables. Everything has to go through customs in Hawaii (as per US law,) so by the time it gets here it is rotten. And unlike Hawaii, we are not a volcanic island where it is easy to grow things. We are a coral island, which means that the soil is harsh and infertile.

So it’s apples and oranges, and broccoli. That’s what can make it here, so that is what we eat.

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I also miss things that are hard to explain. For example, we have Chinese food in Guam. However, we are very close to China and so we have Chinese Chinese food here. As it turns out, I don’t really like Chinese Chinese food. I like American Chinese food.

Fun Fact: Fortune cookies are American.

Another thing I really miss is good tortilla soup and carnitas. The people of Guam have some Spanish influence in their culture, but it’s not the same.

I went all through High School and College in Arizona, and every now and then I am just dying to have some really good Mexican Food.

Thankfully, I can get good Korean and Thai food on Guam, so at least there is that.

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I guess the hardest part for me living overseas is shoes. Even in the US, I have absolutely broken down crying while looking for shoes.

See, I wear a size 12 or 13 in women’s. Yes, that’s right, a size 12 or 13.

Don’t bother leaving all the jokes in the comments. I have heard every single one. Yes, if I am in a hurricane I won’t blow over. I don’t need skis to go skiing. I am probably related to big foot. Ha. Ha. Ha.

All I really want to cute shoes like girls wear on TV. I want sexy pumps and cute boots and adorable sandals.

However, no one makes cute shoes things in my size.

In Asia I can’t even buy plain or ugly shoes. There just aren’t any. I tried ordering online, but so many places have sizes that “run small” and they don’t tell you. I ordered a pair from Chinese Laundry because I was so excited to see a size 12 on their site. I don’t know whose idea of a size 12 it was, but I could have cut off all my toes and still not fit my foot into it. So, I have to buy shoes in person.

I was excited to do this while stateside.

I went all the places that folks had suggested to me, like Nordstrom’s Rack and DSW. And I have to tell you: I have nothing nice to say about those places or the people who work there. Same for Target, Walmart, Journeys, and every other shoe store besides Payless.

Not only is Payless literally the only store in the United States that still carries shoes in my size, but the lady there was nice. I have no idea why shoe salesmen in other stores have to be nasty, act shocked, or ask if I am transsexual (I am not.) However, there are some mean and rotten shoe salespeople, and I think I talked to all of them.

Anyway, I think a lot of times people look at my blog and they think that it’s really glamorous living overseas. And yeah, it has its moments. But I do live a life without raspberries and shoes, so maybe keep that in mind before you think my life is “perfect.”

Shoes that do not come in my size, sold by a very nasty person who thinks women with size 12 feet are subhuman. Thanks DSW.

Halloween Overseas

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I think a lot about the fact that the United States of America is a huge melting pot. It is full of different cultures and different types of people, and sometimes it seems like we don’t have much in common.

However, living overseas for most of the last decade has made me realize that we have more in common than we think.

One of those things is Halloween.

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People from the US ask me “What is Halloween like in other places?” and I have to laugh a little. Most Americans don’t seem to realize that the tradition of Halloween comes from the good old US of A.

Yes, there were some traditions from Europe that we borrowed to integrate into the holiday. However, pretty much every part of Halloween is uniquely American.

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Carving Pumpkins: a pumpkin is a native American plant. It used to make me so sad when I was living in Korea and my friends would say “Are you going to carve pumpkins?” After all, how could I? They don’t sell pumpkins in Korea. Why would they?

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Trick-Or-Treating: This tradition was started by candy companies in the 1950’s. When I used to tell kids in other countries about it, they flat-out called me a liar. It is unheard of in other countries that a child could go up to a stranger’s door, say “Trick or Treat,” and get candy.

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Costumes: Okay, sometimes people in other countries dress up. British people sometimes dress up for bachelor parties, for example. However, it is nothing like it is in America. I remember the other teachers back at Avalon English being aghast at the thought of grown-ass adults dressing up as unicorns and stuff. I just laughed. Of course we do! And it’s awesome!

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Guam doesn’t really do Halloween any more than Korea did. They are technically a US territory, but the holidays are different. This is a shame, and I lament it every year.

See, Halloween isn’t just one of the coolest uniquely American things; it is also my favorite holiday.

I know, that’s weird for an adult. But the thing is, Halloween is for everyone. You might say: “All holidays are for everyone.” If you have a close family, it makes sense that you think that way. However, some of us know that it’s not true.

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Example: Christmas. 

I hate Christmas. Let me tell you why:

If you don’t have a family, at first, you might try to go to other people’s family gatherings.

Then they do presents, and no one got you anything, and it’s awkward.

You realize that you are intruding. They invited you, but they don’t really want you there. You feel like shit, and you learn to never do that again.

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So then the next year, you do a Christmas “for people who don’t have families.”

You get a whole bunch of lonely orphans together, and you can just imagine how cheerless that ends up being. You all sit around and think about your family being dead, or on drugs, or estranged. And big surprise, it sucks.

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So after a few years you just spend it alone. You try not to cry, but at some point you know you will.

Maybe you go to a bar and get drunk. Maybe you microwave a dinner and sit there alone eating it. But it sucks. It is just devastatingly painful.

I spent nearly 20 years alone until I was adopted by the Layman family. You simply can’t imagine the pain of 20 years alone on Christmas. It hurts so much that even after being adopted, I still can’t stand Christmas.

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I know that people with families won’t understand this. They will argue that they really do want you to come be with their family, or that you should go volunteer or be with friends. They don’t understand that it’s not just being psychically alone. It’s having attention drawn to the fact that you are alone in the world. That is just a horrible feeling.

So I don’t like Christmas and all the other family holidays. They are mostly foreign holidays anyway.

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Halloween is not like that. Halloween is for everyone! And it’s American!

Ergo, even though I am on Guam where no one celebrates, I will be dressing up and celebrating just like I did in Korea. People can stare and think I am nuts. That’s fine.

This is the best holiday in the whole world. It’s better than the Color Festival, Buddha’s Birthday, and any other holiday that has been dreamed up elsewhere in the world. I never feel more patriotic than I do on Halloween.

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College Reunion

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I recently went on a long trip.  One of the things I did was go to my unofficial college reunion in Arizona.

My best friends in college were two lovely women named Sidra and Clarice. Both of them are doing well now, and it was a lot of fun to catch up. I am really glad that I took the time and spent the money to make it possible.

The reunion brought up a lot of thoughts and feelings for me. Most of them are sort of private, but I did want to share a few things that might help others.

1. Keep in touch with snail mail.

I am always surprised at how much it means to people to get post cards and seasonal greeting cards. I guess this is because mail is always exciting. You can hold it in your hand, and put it on your refrigerator. It is a way to display that someone thought of you. Most people just get bills and junk mail, so getting things you didn’t expect that make you happy can be very special.

I have been sending post cards and holiday greeting cards for about 20 years, and I think this is part of what makes people feel like they are still connected to me, even after years apart. I had not seen Sidra and Clarice in 10 years due to all of us being in different countries, but we still felt connected and like we were good friends.

Though it might seem silly, I will also add that I never got a label maker, nor do I run envelopes through my printer. I hand address each envelope, write a personal message referencing things in the person’s life, and include a Holiday Letter talking about my year. People bring up these personal touches when they see me, and thank me for them. That is how I know that they matter.

2. Make connections in college.

We all know that nepotism is how people get the really good jobs. The narrative is that anyone can do anything if they go to college, but the reality is that without connections, your degree is meaningless.

In college, I was so busy working to support myself, studying, and looking after my wayward aerospace engineer boyfriend that I missed a lot of chances to connect. I should have gone to my professor’s office hours and “kissed ass,” as they say. I should have tried to make more friends on campus. (And, probably richer more powerful friends.) I should have seen the scholarship breakfasts I had to go to as an opportunity instead of a burden.

The truth is; I was so busy surviving that I forgot to live. I wish that I had put more effort into climbing ladders instead of just working hard and thinking that would be enough to succeed. I bought the lie. I regret that.

3. Take chances.

I still regret winning a scholarship to study in Costa Rica in college, but then deciding not to take it. I was afraid that my boyfriend would get kick out of school while I was away (since he had so much trouble getting up in the morning.) I was worried that my boss would replace me at work. I was worried about where to store my stuff…

The truth is, I still regret not going.

If you get the chance to have a new or different experience, just take it! Even if you have to find a new job when you get back and put your stuff in storage. Just do it!

It’s true what they say: You only regret the chances you don’t take.

Over the years I have done a lot of wild things, like running away with the Renaissance Festival and then taking off to teach in South Korea. I don’t regret any of those things. But I still regret not doing that semester abroad.

I am hardly an oracle of brilliant advice. I am just a person who has been wandering around the world for awhile now, and I would like to think that those three pieces of advice are pretty solid.

I guess it also goes without saying that you should never lose touch with your friends. I am so glad I kept in touch with Clarice and Sid all these years!

Bagby Hot Springs

A lot of people do the Baby Hot Springs hike because they want to soak in the hot springs. This is a perfectly reasonable thing to do most of the time, but not while I was there!

I was in Oregon was the worst heat wave that they had seen in a long time, and even up around Mount Hood, it was still extremely hot.

Still, we went up to soak our feet in the cold stream near the hot springs, and to relax in the shade where it was cool.

After three years of hiking through jungle, I have to say, it’s really very pretty in Oregon. I forgot the dark shades of green that you find in the forest, and how beautiful the bark is on pine and cedar trees.

As you know,  love plants.

And, the plants in the forest near the hot springs are so lush and pretty even in the midst of the heat and the dry weather.

We even saw various kinds of neat fungus along the trail.

I went with my adopted mom and my husband. The three of us are not the kind of hikers who go for distance. We go for experience. And, this is an easy hike and a nice experience.

That reminds me, if you are interested in other easy hikes in Oregon, I would recommend The Creaky Knees Guide, which my mom got me for my birthday.

It has a lot of trails for those of us who are looking for more -shall we say- relaxing hikes?

I should warn that the stream is snow and glacier melt, so it’s not really a good idea to swim in it. We did see some people jump in (seemingly to prove that they could.) However, they got right back out.

Sometimes people don’t realize that you can get hypothermia in Oregon in the dead heat of summer. However, when you are in 35-degree water for too long, I assure you that you can.

The pools in the stream near the hot springs are absolutely deep enough to swim in. There is no reason you can’t swim in them. If you are hot and sweaty, there is no doubt that it would be refreshing.

Just, don’t stay in too long.

Mom soaked her feet because they swell when she hikes. She’s a nurse, so it was really nice of her to go hiking with us in spite of the fact that she spends 14-hour days on her feet all week at the VA.

However, I think we all enjoyed spending some time in nature. There is something about running water, moss, and deep green trees that soothes the soul, if you know what I mean. It just feels good.

There stream is mostly wide with a lot of deep pools, but it funnels through this one part where it is narrow, and I took a video because I love the way water looks crashing over rocks. Enjoy!

Public Service Announcement

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I am getting sort of frustrated with a few things I see on the island, and I wanted to talk about them. First and foremost, I want to say that I am horrified when people don’t stay two meters away from endangered animals, as is required by federal law.

Fish Eye is a problem. I know it. You know it. Everyone on Guam knows it. They feed the marine life by dumping chum in the water, and it can cause all kinds of bad situations like the semi-domestic barracuda that lives there and has injured people, or the turtle that learned the dangerous and unfortunate lesson that people equal food, and paid for that lesson with his life.

While we can all look around and see that other people are doing things wrong, let us please also remember that others’ mistakes do not give us the right now also break laws and behave badly. Do not touch or get within two meters of endangered animals. This includes the native birds, coconut crabs, sea turtles, and anything else you might encounter that is rare and in need of protection.

Please, don’t pet or feed the animals.

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Next up: the coral is alive. Coral is a living colony of organism called polyps. and they get crushed when you stand on them.

I see people all the time at Gun Beach, Fish Eye, Gab Gab, and Tanguisson just standing on the coral like it’s not big deal. And FYI: it’s not better if you are barefoot. I don’t care what you stand on a polyp with. It is a tiny animal and you will kill it by standing on it.

Some coral can appear to be dead, but still have living sections on new corals trying to grow on top of the old. Just because it doesn’t look alive to you, doesn’t mean that it is not alive. So don’t stand on anything at all unless it is sand. If you can’t float well enough to adjust your mask or whatever in the water, then get out of the water to do it if you can’t find sand. Just don’t stand on the coral.

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And finally: Every time I go out I find trash. Every single time. Last time I went out I was at Gab Gab and I found a Planters Peanut bag. In Tumon Bay and at Tanguisson I usually find beer cans and flip flops. At Fish Eye I found umbrellas, sun glasses, hats, and all kinds of other garbage.

The point is this: The ocean is not your landfill. Stop dumping your trash in the ocean like it doesn’t matter. It matters a lot.

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I guess what I really want you to do it be responsible and kind. Oh, and recently someone stole my flip flops off the rocks by the ocean while I was swimming. So although it should go without saying: Don’t steal people’s things while they are in the water!

Just be cool, folks. Be cool.

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One of the workers at Fish Eye feeding Squid to the turtle that used to live there. Don’t ever do that!

Sorry to sound harsh. I know this comes off as bitchy. But, I care deeply about nature, and I hate to see people hurting it.

I hope you’ll spread the word to others on the islands, and to anyone you know who is visiting an island soon.

Let’s take care of our oceans!

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An umbrella that we found wedged in some coral at Fish Eye. We took this picture with it before bringing it to shore to throw away.

Hawaiian Adventure

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Before I moved to Guam, I had only been to Oahu once on my way to Maui. However, every flight to the mainland US from Guam seems to go through Oahu. So, I have gotten to know it over time. At first I went to the tourist spots that I had heard so much about, like Waikiki Beach.

I also got a chance to glimpse the serious feral cat population problem when I went to a scenic overlook. We have a feral dog problem on Guam so I completely understood how that happened.

I also did the food tour. I had pineapple chicken and other Hawaiian BBQ. However this trip, I drove around.

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I already wrote about snorkeling at Electric Beach and The Three Tables. The underwater explorations were a lot of fun! I have never seen so many turtles in one place.

There were also lovely things on land, though.

I tried a Pineapple Shake at the Dole Pineapple Plantation. It had never occurred to me to put pineapple in a shake before, but it was good.

Tip for visiting the Dole Pineapple Plantation:

It was very crowded when I was there, which was a Thursday. I feel like it is always busy. If you want to do the tour, play in the maze, eat at the grill, and really enjoy it; you want to get there early and plan on spending the day there.

It is certainly the place to get all the pineapple you want.

I stayed at The Navy Lodge, which is on Ford Island. I found it amusing to stay on an island off the coast of an island.

Obviously The Navy Lodge isn’t something fancy like the resorts you see on Oahu. But it seems silly to pay for a fancy hotel room when you will only be there to sleep.

Besides, the flowers around the hotel were beautiful.

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Passion flowers are actually my favorite, but they were not in season. None-the-less, there were plenty of flowers around to appreciate. The hotel had a lovely collection of bromeliads.

Of course, we have most of the same flowers on Guam. However, everything looks nicer when you are on vacation, doesn’t it?

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I know there is a lot of really amazing hiking in Hawaii, and I hope to get the opportunity to do some hiking at some point. However, this trip was short, and we wanted to spend most of it in the water.

If you are interested in hiking, there are lots of really excellent websites that are devoted to hiking in Oahu.

The weather is cooler and less humid than the weather in Guam, so I imagine it is exactly as beautiful and not as sweaty.

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Also, although I wrote about Electric Beach, Pupukea Maine Conservation District, and Turtle Beach; there are many other wonderful places to snorkel on Oahu.

There are some lovely websites devoted to places to snorkel, in case you are planning a trip there yourself and want to take a look.

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The very best thing I finally found was Leonard’s Malasadas Truck. I had heard wonderful things about it from my Portuguese side of the family.

A malasada is a Portuguese donut which is a kind of sweet bread that is fried and rolled in sugar (or other things.) It is a tradition to eat them in Portugal of Shrove Tuesday, which is like Fat Tuesday in New Orleans.

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In my family, we ate malsadas on New Year’s Day because we were already together for Christmas. There were my favorite part of the holidays.

Biting into a malasada was like biting into a little piece of my childhood, and I am really glad I finally came across Leonard’s. If you have never had a malasada, I highly recommend that you try one. They’re fantastic!

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Overall, it was a really nice trip to Oahu. I saw a lot of things I hadn’t seen before, and ran into things I didn’t even know I wanted to see.

Hopefully we’ll go back soon, because we have a friend living there now. Time to take advantage of someone else’s spare room the way people take advantage of ours.

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Turtle Beach

Turtle Beach

While Oahu, I also visited a place that the locals call “Turtle Beach.”

There is not a lot of sea grass or algae in the water for the sea turtles of Oahu to eat. However, on Turtle Beach, there are several rocks that are covered in algae.

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Every day at low tide, the turtles slide themselves out of the water, and come up onto the rocks to eat.

I was always led to believe that turtles are really awkward on land. However, these turtles seem to have no trouble at all scooting around.

You could even see turtles that were not up on the beach playing in the waves.

Turtles in Waves

The lifeguard on the beach sets up a barrier to keep people from getting too close to the turtles, and you can’t go swimming in the water directly in front of where they come ashore.

However, it is magical to watch them from behind the barrier and enjoy seeing sea turtles in a whole new way.

Kalua O Maua “Three Tables”

While in Hawaii on the island of Oahu, we went to a place called The Pupukea Maine Conservation District.

Within that area, there are a few places that you can snorkel.

We initially tried to go to Waimea Bay, because we had heard good things. However, there was no parking.

Instead, we followed the road a little farther, and parked in front of the Kalua O Maua, or “The Three Tables.”

I was really glad that we ended up where we did, because we saw so many green sea turtles!

Turtles are one of my favorite animals, and I adore sea turtles. There is one back home in Guam that I love to go visit.

You do have to be careful. The waves are strong, and it would be easy to get pushed into one of the “three tables” (which are just big pillars of volcanic rock.)

They aren’t sharp, but they are full of baby sea urchins, so you wouldn’t want to touch the rocks.

However, as long as you are careful, there are a lot of really beautiful things to see. There are some flat corals, and lots of fish.

The turtles looked a little worse for wear. Quite a few of them had shell of flipper damage.

However, they were reasonably calm around us. We didn’t get too close (obviously) because of the restrictions in the endangered species act.

Seeing them from a distance and being able to zoom in and get video was pretty magical, though.

The waves were high, but the water seemed calmer than on the other side of the island.

There were certainly more people swimming, and we didn’t see any dramatic rescues of screaming people like at Electric Beach.

Electric Beach, Oahu

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I recently went through Hawaii on my way home to Guam. We were only on Oahu for a few days, but Electric Beach at Kahe Point was one of the best things I saw.

You park across the street from the Power Plant, and then walk past the bathrooms onto the small strip of beach.

There are a lot of signs on the cliff side as you walk down, warning you of the dangerous water conditions.

There are also signs on the little strip of beach, telling you not to go in the water in front of the power plant.

The signs have a point. What you want to do is go to the ramp, and swim straight out from the ramp for about 200 feet. Then, bear to the right just a little.

There are pipes (that are buried) with some coral on top. Follow those out.

You can see the bubbles from where the pipes let out.

The water from the power plant is warm, and it attracts a lot of different sea life.

It’s important to be careful. If you get down in front of the pipes, the rushing water will push you out to sea and you will have to swim back.

The best place to be is right before the opening of the pipes, so that you can watch the animals that come to hang out.

We saw lots of amazing things, including a black trigger fish and several schools of baby fish.

Of course, the best thing we saw was a sting ray, which hung around and played in the water with us.

However, there were all kinds of things to see. The are pillow star fish, sea urchins, trigger fish, and much more.

If you stick your head out of the water facing shore, you can see the power plant. This is what it looks like.

And the best part?

When you get out, they have showers!

If you snorkel often, you know how awesome that is. I hate having to drive home salty.

Again, I should caution you about the dangerous waters.

We saw some people get caught in a rip tide and pulled into a rocky area. They had to be rescued.

Make sure you are a strong swimmer before you try Electric Beach.

Safety First!